The MECH BAR
Part 6 - The Final Conflict!
As we left the bar in the last chapter DarkMist had sent Lepidus
back to the Comstar hord with a message. Well things have sure changed since then.
Comstar took the message at face value, and left the sector (Ran for the hills!).
No one has seen or heard from them since. I guess it was the last time they
will run from a fight. Also RedDragon has taken over the clan, and Dark Wizzard has
been given the position of Loremaster. (Must have been all the stories he had been telling
lately, or maybe the stories he told and can't remember telling.) But since DW will
be working at command headquarters, he needed to find someone to replace him. Mind
you it was a hard job finding a person who could drink DW under the table and put up with
Tamer, but someone had to be found. We join DW as he is talking to BlackPhoenix the
new Galaxy Commander.
"Well DW, looks like you better find a replacement for this job
fast. RedDragon is getting pretty feadup with you missing command meetings."
"BP you know how this place is at closing time....trying to pry
Pen's from the tables is like flossing your teeth with a loaded mini-ac hand rifle!
Not to mention the bad after taste is leaves."
"DW I told you to stop using that weapon for flossing."
"Hey you can't blame me for trying."
"No, but the last time you did that you spent 2 weeks in the
Hospvac. And not to mention the dentist bitching you out for 3 days."
"Well, lets get back to this other problem I have."
"DW why don't you have a contest to see who the best barkeep will be?"
"Hhmmmm, not a bad idea guy. Let me see what I can come up with."
"Sure thing DW, just make sure you put me on the list. You know how I
hate to be left out of a party!"
"No problem guy, let me put you on the top of the list right now."
Almost every Warrior showed for the contest, even some that had
been on the inactive roster re-upped just to be apart of the contest. The only
problem was no one knew what the contest was, they just new the prize for winning. (Free
beer from the bar!)
Every warrior showed in their best dress uniforms, all had made a
point of making sure everything on their uniform was perfect. Blaster showed up with
belt buckle's show shiny most had to wear sunglasses to cut down the glare. Even his
boots you could see your face in good enough to shave with them! If only they knew
what was in store for them.
After a hour wait DW finally walked through the back door of the
bar. Most of the contestants where ready to string DW from the ceiling fan for being
his unusual late self. But they all knew DW would be judging them, so the all just
stared at him for a few minutes.
DW walked over to the bar and jumped up on it.
"OK everyone make your way over here please."
Blaster was the first to make it to the bar, and stood at attention.
"At ease Blaster, this is a bar not the barracks."
"Sorry Sir."
"Sir not to be out of order, but you are late again. I know
I could run a tighter ship with this place."
"Ok Blaster, someone grab Blaster a beer, he looks like he needs
one, make that 2, I think he needs to catch up with everyone else."
"No thanks Sir, I am here to win this contest, I need to be ready for it!"
"Well Blaster you better take the beers, I think you will need them."
As everyone finally made their way over to the bar DW starts to
read the rules of the contest off.
"As you all know, this place has a reputation and in order
to run this place you will need to be at your best at the things that go on here. So
I have come up with a contest to find the best at what happens here. Here are the 4
parts of the contest."
"1) Beer chugging, this will start with everyone downing 4 beers, then during the rest of
the contest I will be counting the number of beers you drink. The person who drank
the most beer and is still standing, wins this part of the contest. I have made up
some special helmets, and vests for safety reasons.
Each helmet comes with a double beer holder and a sucking straw for each beer.
The vest has pockets in the front for 6 beers, and has a cooling system to keep the
beers cool. All players must wear one of each."
"Well DW that would mean I would win if your not in the contest!"
"BP you need to win one other contest too."
"Oh."
"Now let me finish."
"Sorry Sir."
"Ok, 2) Food Weapons. I have lined up all the food weapons we have used in the bar on
the back table. Everyone will take the weapon of their choice. Only after drinking
the 4 beers first."
"DW I am not a good beer drinker, can I get a weapon now?"
"Rasp you better draw a picture of it on your hand." Then match it up as best you can."
"Ok thanks Sir. Anyone have a pencil or pen handy?"
"3) Shoot the Elvis, during this contest anyone who can hit the Elvis painting, and
get the closest to his jewels wins. Now mind you someone can block the shot if they
can. I have also put up a special covering on the Elvis with a bulleye."
"And the last contest, I will tell the last few people still standing, but for now its a secret!
"DW how will we know when the first 3 contests are over?"
"Seph, I have enough ammo in all the weapons to last for sometime. When it is gone, that
last contest will start."
"Ok, thanks Sir!"
"Now the rules are as follows: Every man for himself. LET THE SHOW BEGIN!"
Streaker being the youngest one in the group races to the bar
first and pounds down 3 of the 4 beers. Thinking that age will help him in the
contest, he starts the 4th beer, gets about half of it down, starts looking around
funny, his eyes start to water, then runs for the front door, just making it
outside and heaves up all the beer he just drank and passes out.
BP being the oldest in the group, takes his time. He knows
that pacing ones self is the key to heavy drinking. He also knows he can't take the
job. (being in the command staff) So he just showed for the free beer, and to watch the
others make fools of themselves. So as he finishes the 4th beer he slowly walks over
to the table, grabs a weapon (S&W Double barrel Ho Ho gauss rifle) and walks back to
the bar by DW.
Rasp being new to the bar, finishes his 4 beers, runs for the
table and grabs a weapon(Rouge Labs 12 shot Little Debbie launcher) and takes a position
at the left corner of the bar.
Blaster being the perfect soldier, drinks his beers like he is still in boot camp.
grab....raise....tilt....drink 2 big swigs....tilt....lower.....release.
grab....raise....tilt....drink 2 big swigs....tilt....lower.....release.
grab....raise....tilt....drink 2 big swigs....tilt....lower.....release.
He finally finishes the last of the 4 and heads at double time to the table.....not
knowing that he polished his boots and got some of the polish on the bottom of his boots.
He gets about 10 feet from the table and slips....falling flat on his face.
Knocking himself out cold.
Sephiroth, ProPhet, Raptor, Maverik, and Winger are all grouped together. They
seem to be having a contest of their own to see who will drop first. They forgot all
about the other parts of the contest.
Redjack and Dragon have decided to team up, both finish their beer......head for the
table.....and grab 2 Twinkie grenade launchers. Then make a b-line to the right
corner of the bar.
IA....still sitting at the bar....gets a beep from his beeper.....then heads for the
phone next to the bar.
Now part 2 of the contest begins........
Rasp takes the first shot...sees that IA is just standing at the phone.....and unloads
6 shots at the unsuspecting victim...The first shot hits the receiver of the phone hanging
it up...IA noticing that someone hung the phone up turns to yell...opens his mouth and
gets 3 rounds of creamy white filling....that last round hit the top of IA's helmet and
heads strait for the Elvis painting....hitting it 2 inches from the jewels.
RJ and Dragon seeing the group of 5 still drinking away, decide to wake them
up....sending 4 rounds of Twinkies in the middle of the group. The grenades explode
sending filling in all directions. Some of it hits Seph, PP, and Rap sending them
right for the women bathroom door. Since DW put up the steel doors on both bathroom,
all three hit the door at the same time......then slide to the floor slowly.....
Mav, and Winger seeing the incoming duck behind the bar....and make their way to the
weapons table. Making sure to hide behind all the tables on the way.
BP still sitting at the bar...orders 2 beers for his helmet....sees Blaster still out
cold....then smiles.....then shoots a round at Blaster backend.
Blasters body jumps at the inpack....then lays still again..
BP starts to laugh out loud. Then take a big swig of beer.
"I Love this place!"
"DW, can I get a order of onion rings with this beer?"
"Sure BP, here you go guy."
"Thanks."
IA still spitting filling out of his mouth gets up.
"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT, I AM BOOTING SOMEONE OUT NOW!"
Everyone in the bar looks over at IA.....aims.....and takes a shoot at him....all 4
rounds hit him square in the chest and send him flying for the cooler doors. He hits
the doors, fly's thru them, and hits the mop and bucket sitting against the far wall.
The bucket fly's up and land right on IA's head.
RJ motions Dragon toward Rasp....Aims and fires...
Rasp does a double tuck and roll, and hides behind the bar.
RJ and Dragon stand to see if their shoots made there target....Rasp seeing them in the
open lets the last of his ammo fly..
Three shots hit RJ's helmet on the right beer holder....spinning it around so RJ can't
see....
RJ in frustration starts fighting...unloading his weapons in all directions of the
bar..
One shot hits BP beer mug....knocking it from his hand and sending it for the mirrored
wall
"Hey that's my beer!"
2 shots hit the Elvis painting....knocking it off the wall and it
lands right on Mav head....Mav's head goes right thru the painting showing his head in
place of Elvis's. Mav still dazed looks down and sees the body of Elvis as his, and
starts singing old Elvis songs.
BP looks over at Mav singing.....smiles.....and shoots Mav in the
side of his head, knocking his out cold.
"I really love this place!"
Then BP looks over a Blaster, still out.....smiles......and takes
a shot at Blaster again.
Blasters body jumps....then lays still again.
"DW need a fresh one, someone shot the last one!"
"No problem BP."
2 of RJ's shots hit Dragon at point blank range....sending Dragon right through the
window at the front of the bar. Dragon lands face up in the dirt. Then after a
few seconds opens his eyes....and sees someone standing over him...then he gets a boot to
the head and is out.
Mav and Winger finally make it over to the table, stand, look down at the
weapons.....and one of RJ's grenades lands on the table...BBBBBAAAAAMMMMMM!!!
The force of the blast sends Mav and Winger flying backwards....and the both land right
on Blaster....TTHHHUUDDD..
Blasters body jumps....then is still again...
BP looks over at DW.....
"DW we can end this now if you like?"
"How so BP?"
"Like this."
BP aims at RJ standing with his helmet still backwards.....and takes the shot..
The shot hits the other beer holder on RJ's helmet sending it spinning around his
head...RJ start to stagger from all the spinning and falls over the table in front of him.
"Like that DW! And now there is one." BP laughs loudly.
"Well Rasp looks like you are the last one standing guy."
DW looks down at his watch.
"Yep time for the last part of the contest.....3.....2.....1.....Now!"
Just then Tamer walks into the bar, her face as red as a Julubia pepper plant.
"What the HELL is going on here! I leave for a few days and you guys start this crap again!"
DW and BP look at each other, smile, then start for the door.
"Tamer, BP and I have a command meeting. Rasp is now in charge of this place."
"OH! And you think you can leave, just like that."
"Sorry Tamer, command staff, you know, have to go."
DW and BP make it to the door and head for the Yellow mech of BP's.
Rasp standing next to the bar looks in wonder.
"Well Rasp, don't just stand there, clean this mess up, and make sure you do it."
Rasp still standing thinks to himself "Some prize.......I should have stayed at home...Mom was right"
The End