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Part 5 - The Big One!

Well looks like Dark Wizard got himself in a big mess this time.   Now that he and Tamer are running the bar, he has lost quite a bit of hair and a nice gray set in.  The bar has gone through many changes in the last few months, and it looks like Dark Wizard has been very busy.  Lets look in and see what's new.

We see DW standing behind the bar finishing up on washing last nights glasses, and cleaning up the bar.  Looks like an old friend has returned from his shopping spree.  Jackal.

"So DW, looks like this place has cleaned up nice."

"Yea, she is coming along nice, still need to fix the woman's bathroom." explains DW. "Took me forever to get that white filling out of the pipes.  You know it can clog them real fast if it gets in the trap."

"Well DW lucky you took those inter-galaxy plumbing classes last year.  And to think I thought you wasted your money.  I still think we should have bought that Interplanet Inc. Space Racer, would have loved to take that baby for a ride.  And just think of the women we could have picked up with it!"

"Jackal you know we would have ended up in the Planetary prison for sure with that ship.  Remember the last time we "borrowed" the dropship from the PEN ship yard.  We were scrapping mud from mechs for 3 weeks."

"Yea, but it was worth it. They sure were nice looking babe's weren't they?" asks Jackal.

"Don't here any complaining do ya."

Just then the door to the bar slams open.

"DW what's Seph doing here?" asks Jackal.

"Don't know, must be something bothering him to come in here."

Sephiroth walks over to DW and Jackal and sits down on the next stool.

"DW I need a tall one NOW! And keep them coming guy."

"Sure thing Seph."

Seph pounds down the beer and before he puts the glass down DW has a fresh one in front of him.

"Guys we are in BIG trouble. Looks like C* is in the area, and we lost our Khan again."

"WHAT? Seph you are joking right? asks DW."

"Nope DW, is true. Looks like C* has taken some of DM's family as hostage, and would not give them back until he resigned as Khan. Must think if he was out of the way, they could overrun PEN."

"Seph they must be really hurting to do something that low."

"Must be DW. Worse then that, one of their dropships got though our defense grid, and we lost tracking on it."

"Well rest assured if they show in here, they are in for a BIG surprise."

"DW, mind if I stick around for a while guy?"

"Sure Jackal, you could help behind the bar if you like. Its payday, and you know the boys will be in to spend their money."

"Ok DW, will be glad to help."

Jackal walks behind the bar and grabs the extra bar apron.

"Seph help yourself to beer guy, I need to show Jackal something here."

"No problem!! Thanks DW!!"

"Seph I will be counting the beers you take guy."

"Oh, ok." Seph's smiles turns into a frown.

Its about 2 hours until the people start coming in the bar. Most just the local mech builders, and support group for PEN. Then the bar doors slam open. Lucky DW remembered the abuse the doors took and replaced them with double re-enforced Endo steel he got from the mech scrap yard.

"Well guys, looks like I need a beer, and make it a case if you can. And get these guys one too." says Dark Mist

DM, Streaker, and Dragon walk up to the bar and take the last 3 stools.

"DM you know Streak can't drink in here guy." explains DW

"DW just serve them up man, this is a day for all to get drunk."

"Jackal get Streak a non-alco beer, and make DM think its real guy."

"Sure thing DW."

"Here you go guys, one round for all."

"Jackal make those on the house too." says DW.

"Ok DW."

"DM we heard what happened guy, sorry about it too."

"Jackal don't fret it guy, things will work out SOON, VERY SOON."

DW hearing the last statement looks over at Jackal, and nods his head. Jackal nods back.

"Why do you say that DM?"

"Well Jackal, I have made some calls, and we will be seeing some guest here soon. That's why I brought some support with me here."

"Yea, and we will not let that C* scum push around DM like that." exclaims Streak.

"Streak hold your anger until they come." DM tells Streak.

"Ok Sir."

"Streak drop the Sir thing. I am just a civilian now."

"Ok. DM."

"I also have some backup coming when the time does arise."

DW walks over to the three of them.

"Just make sure you STAY AWAY FROM THE ELVIS! It took me 2 weeks to find that replacement, and had to listen to Tamer the whole time too. Would not let me have a beer until I found it either."

"DW that must have been hell! I mean no BEER for 2 weeks!"

"Jackal it was not that bad. Tamer did let me help her pick out some new undergarments and swim suits."

"OH! You lucky old dog you!"

"Mind you Jackal, she does look better without the uniform on."

"Dammm. Why do you get the good jobs DW?"

"Streak, with all I had to put up with, was not enough."

"Speaking of Tamer, where is she?" asked Dragon.

"Dragon she has been gone for about a week now. Said she needed to use the new swim wear she bought. Have not heard from her since."

"Well DW, I hope she doesn't come back today." whispered DM.

"I hope not either DM."

"DW I hope you insured this place? Because I think its about to be messed up again."

"Don't worry DM, I have a plan."

"Cool DW, hope it is enough to pay for this place."

"Well, sort of. You could say it will take care of things."

"Jackal looks over at DW and nods, and DW nods back, and both start laughing out loud. Everyone at the bar just look at them as if they had to many double shots of Bolin Whiskey again. But the laughing stops as the bar doors open. But slowly his time. And 4 heads poke there way in.

"Well guys looks like my friends have showed up, and right on time too." exclaimed DM

"What's wrong gentlemen, you lost your way again, or to scared to come in?"

The 4 men walk slowly into the bar with weapons drawn. All the locals knowing the history about the bar head for the door very slowly. As the last local makes their way out the door DM speaks up again.

"Well come on in to my web, says the spider to it pray."

Stinger and Coyote from C* and two of their friends RFR-Badbob and /T\^Lepidus walk into the bar and stand in front of the four sitting at the bar, with weapons charged to max.

"Well DM looks like we caught you with your pants down again, that's twice in 1 week." says Stinger.

"Stinger you my think that, but you are in PEN territory now, and things could change at any time now."

"Yea Right! You are all unarmed, half drunk, and we have weapons drawn and charged. Looks like we have the upper hand again."

"Sting, it is just like you to not think before you leap from the dropship."

"Guys I am tired of these fools, lets just finish this here and now."

"Yea you would shoot unarmed men, much easier that way. If we had weapons I'm sure you would be heading for the door with your tail between your legs right?"

"That's it. Let these fools have it."

Just then DW nods twice to Jackal, and Jackal reaches under the counter and flips a switch. EEEEEWWWWWMMMM. And all the lights dim.

"Hey! My weapon lost its charge!" exclaims Stinger.

"Mine too!" says Coyote.

"And Mine!" follows Badbob.

"Dead Here!" says Lepidus lastly.

All four men look at each other in amazement, wondering what just happened. Then they slowly start walking backward toward the door.

Then the doors opens, and in walks BlackPhoenix.

"BP its about time you got here! Always the late one."

"Sorry DM could not fine a parking spot for my mech."

All four men stop and turn to the door. There is BP standing there with some sort of weapon drawn at them.

"Guys we going anywhere?"

"That weapon will not work in here, so out of the way!"

"Sorry guy, this weapon works fine."

BP points the weapon at the ceiling and fire around. BBBBLLLLLAAAAMMM!

"Yep works fine guys."

All four men just look with amazement at each other.

"Jackal thanks for the weapon guy, works great! How does it work?"

"BP, it's a simple air powered weapon DW told me to work on. Did not know why he needed it though. Said to make sure you got it, said you might get some use out of it someday.

"Well I figured I'd bring it, since I was coming to the bar and I know how we love the food weapons here."

"Well lucky you brought it BP."

"Thanks DM."

So now that the four are trapped in the bar, DW figures out what DM had in mind for them, and tells Jackal to hit the last 4 switches behind the bar fast. Jackal hits the first one, and clear plastic covers unroll from the ceiling covering the walls. Then he flips the second one, and a clear plastic cover unrolls across the ceiling. Jackal finding this amusing hits the third switch. A endo steel plate drops down from the ceiling to cover Elvis from harm.

"So DM you like my insurance now?" DM starts laughing out loud.

"DW you da man guy, was wondering where all that plastic was going to."

"Yea you could say I was preparing to cover my assets." says DW as he starts laughing out loud.

All the PEN's start laughing. But the four in the middle of the bar, well I think they are troubled.

Jackal looks over at DW and Asks, "DW what's the last switch for? You didn't tell me that?"

"Well Jackal, lets just say if you flip that one you better duck."


Jackal flips the last switch. DW and Jackal duck behind the bar. A clicking noise is heard from under the bar in front of each bar stool. Then a door drops open in front of each stool, revealing a backpack with the same weapon BP is holding in his hands.

All the PEN's at the bar look down to see the backpacks in front of them, smile, and grab the packs.

"Well gents, I can say we do not like killing our enemies unarmed, WE JUST LIKE CREAMING THEM!"

All the PEN's sitting at the bar open the packbacks, pull out the fully loaded 400 psi double barreled Twinkie launchers with 100 rounds of ammo. DW had to double the backpack size to fit the ammo.

BP backs up to the door and leans on it, so no one can leave.

Streak, DM, Dragon, and Seph jump up from their stools and start firing madly at the group waiting in the middle of the bar. The group not knowing what to do just bend over and kiss there *&^ goodbye.


Stinger being the one closest to them gets hit with 20 rounds of the Twinkies. Sending him flying for the Elvis painting. DW crosses his fingers that the steel will do the trick. Stinger hits the plate, sticks to it for a few seconds, then slides slowly to the floor.


Coyote gets hit still bent over kissing something goodbye, gets hit with such force that he goes flying through the womens bathroom door, hits auto-tampon dispenser head first and hits the floor below it. Tampons dropping from it into his mouth and filling the area around his head.

A woman in the bathroom looks over from the mirror she is standing in front of, and sees the tampons falling out like a waterfall.

"HEY! I could use those." she yells.

Slaps Coyote in the face and starts grabbing all she can get and stuffing them into her purse.


Badbob looks up in the air and get hit with another salvo from the PEN's.

Sending him strait for BP, hits BP in the stomach, and falls to the floor.

BP laughing at what is going on and eating a salty order of fries from Burger Barf. Spits up the fries from being hit, and looks down at Badbob lying below him.

"HEY! I paid good money for those fries jerk."

Aims his weapon at Badbob's jewels, and lets loose a few rounds.

"THERE! That'll show you messing up a mans dinner."

"HEHEHE! Looks like you creamed your uniform there guy!"

Lepidus standing alone now looks around for a place to hide, then stands up strait and says "Gentlemen, take your best shot."

All the PEN's look at each other, wait for a min ,then DM walks over to Lepidus.

"I think you need to go now, and tell those C* gentlemen this is only a part of what they will get from PEN. They my have gotten me out of office, but there are more to follow. And trust me they will come for you, they will."

Lepidus starts to run from the bar, stops at BP. BP opens the door for him, but trips him on the way out.

"Hope you had a nice trip! You'all come back now you here!"

Everyone sits back down at their stools, puts the weapons back in there slots, the doors close.

"DW, we need a round here. And you think you can clean up this place, its a mess."

"Yea! Will not come back here with this mess around."

"Streak drink your beer guy."

"Ok, DM."

To MECH BAR 6 - The Final Conflict!