The MECH BAR
Part 1 - The Start of it all
The MECH BAR was owned by two of the White Rhino Horde, JimBob and Magnum. It was THE
HANGOUT for assorted riffraff, hoodlums, clanners, mercs, pirates, bandits, IS nobles, and
other pond scum. JimBob and Magnum had won the bar from the former owner, in a card game.
It was rumored that Magnum had the deed to the bar printed on his underwear.
On this particular evening, JimBob was behind the bar, occasionally serving a drink or
two, and chatting with Magnum, who was lounging against the bar. A number of other WRH
members happened to be in the bar, on this particular evening, and can bear witnesses to
the events as they transpired. Syves, Lt. Sling, and TigerPaw occupied a table near the
bar, within shouting distance of the jukebox.
And this is where the story really begins.
DFA of the notorious Clan Dark Side wandered in, followed by his seedy associate, Death
Hand. They took a table near Syves, Lt. Sling, and TigerPaw, and called out to JimBob
"Hey JB, set'em up, heh!" DFA called out.
"Hola Syves, Hola Sling, Hola TigerPaw" Death Hand said in greeting.
"Anyone seen Rogue tonight?" DFA asked.
"No, and he damn well better not show up in these parts!" JB exclaimed.
Magnum laughed at JB's show of anger, as he and Rogue were good friends.
Over in the corner, a newcomer, Astro-Boy called out, "I want to meet this Rogue.
I intend to challenge him to a match. Then, I will kill him like the trashborn scum he
Even JB laughed at this outburst. Magnum, Syves, and Lt. Sling, could not stop
laughing. TigerPaw just grinned. DFA and Death Hand shook their heads and smiled, as they
raised their glasses and shouted, "Salute! Death is your birthright!".
"And just what is so funny?" demanded Astro-Boy.
"Lots have tried just that, sonny boy," answered JB.
"And Rogue is still here," finished Magnum.
"Causing nothing but trouble!", retorted JB.
"Better sit down before someone decides to save Rogue the trouble of killing you
hisself." DFA told Astro-Boy. Astro glared at DFA, but took his seat. DFA looked at
Death Hand, and both started laughing, while they shook their heads in mirth.
The door to the bar slammed open at this moment, causing everyone to look up.
Mechwarrior Magnus, of the Pendragon Clan, entered the bar, followed closely by his star
mates, Okla-Rooster, and DarkWizard.
"Oh shit........." JB said quietly.
Magnum laughed and said "Greetings Magnus, Rooster, DW. How is life treating you
on this fine evening?"
Magnus walked to a table on the other side of DFA and Death Hand as he answered,
"Fine Magnum. How are you?"
Rooster and DarkWizard joined Magnus, and took seats where they could keep an eye on
the entire bar.
"Hola Magnum, JB, DFA, Syves, Sling, DH, TP" said Rooster.
"Hola gents," said DarkWizard.
JB, with a sour look, asked, "Is that Khan of your planning on paying us a visit
Rooster and DarkWizard laughed before Rooster answered, "I think so. He had to
straighten out' Nova Captain Tamer on some matter, but I expect he will take care of
that, and drop in later."
DFA laughed and asked, "Straighten out a Nova Captain?? Sounds..........," he
was interrupted by Magnus before he could finish.
"No. Do not say it. I know what you are thinking, and he is not that kind of
"Oh, and what kind of man is he then?", asked DFA trying not to laugh at
Magnus looked annoyed, and tried to glare at DFA, which amused DFA even further,
because whenever Magnus tried to glare at someone, his eyes would cross and start
bouncing around' in the sockets.
JB looked at Magnum and said, "Maybe I'd better call the port coppers now."
Rooster stuck his finger in Magnus' ear, to make his eyes stop their crazed movement.
Magnum looked bored as he answered, "A waste of time. If he wanted too, he could
wander in, wreck the joint, and be gone for a day or two, before they got here. So what
good will that do?"
"Make the next insurance claim a bit easier!" snorted JB.
"Maybe," said Magnum.
Before JB could respond to that comment, the bar door slammed open again.
"Ah shit!" exclaimed JB, as Magnum stood and smiled.
Rogue Wolverine walked into the bar, followed by Jackal, one of his star mates.
"Hola Magnum, good to see you. Greetings JB, cowering behind the bar there."
RW said with a grin.
Magnum tried not to laugh out loud, as JB yelled, "I AM NOT COWERING BEHIND NO
DAMN BAR!". The look of annoyance mixed with concern was comical beyond belief.
DFA and Death Hand started laughing, and earned a glare from JB. The WR horde watched
with interest, and amusement. Jackal walked over to the clanners table, and took a seat.
"Hola DFA, Death Hand, Sling, Syves, TP. Good to see you. Greetings Magnum, JB.
Set up the drinks will you JB? Greetings Magnus, Rooster, DW" Jackal said as he shook
hands with his clan members.
Greetings between RW and his clansmen took up the next few minutes, as JB brought four
bottles of COORS ULTRA-MECH beer and a bottle of JD.
JB glared at RW, "Don't be starting no shit tonight. I already called the port
coppers, just in case!"
RW grinned, "Good, then we won't have to clean up the mess this time."
JB grimaced, and muttered "Oh shit," while Magnum walked over and took a seat
at the clanners table.
"Well gents, what is new?" RW asked to the table at large.
Rooster replied, "Not much RW, we just got there ourselves."
"What was the problem with Tamer?" DarkWizard asked.
"Oh hell" muttered Magnus.
"No big deal, I just had to straighten her out on a matter or two. She should be
in a good mood for a couple of days now," RW replied with a big grin. Rooster and
Jackal, exchanged a glance and laughed, and Magnus looked at something of great interest
on the floor.
Magnum took the opportunity to speak up, "RW, that guy over there in the corner,
Astro-Boy. He was looking for you earlier."
"Oh, why is that?" RW asked.
"He mumbled something about killing you, if I heard him right" Magnum said
"OH HO! He did, heh!" RW exclaimed. Rooster and Jackal, started looking
around the bar for convenient objects to use for cover. Magnus dropped to the floor, and
rolled under the table, and pulled out his S&W 25mm PPC sidearm. Magnum and DarkWizard
grinned, and pushed their seats back from the table.
RW picked up his backpack, and started looking for something inside it.
He pulled out a small thermonuclear device, and tossed it aside, which JB promptly dove
to catch. "HEY! Watch that!" he yelled. Most of the regulars laughed while JB
frantically looked for someplace to stash it or someone to give it to.
RW pulled out a spare PPC from his Timberwolf and tossed it on the table next to
theirs, which collapsed under the weight of the weapon. Then he pulled out an empty bottle
of JD, shook it, and asked JB "Hey JB, refill this for me, would you?"
JB took the bottle and said "This time it's gonna cost you! And you are gonna pay
for it this time, too!" RW grinned and kept rummaging in his backpack.
Next, RW pulled out a small rocket launcher with a quizzical look. JB yelled "HEY!
Dammit! That's my rocket launcher! Hand it over!" RW tossed the rocket launcher to
JB, forgetting to mention that it was loaded. JB caught it, and accidentally touched the
trigger, launching the rocket inside.
The rocket arced out of the launcher, towards the restrooms, as a look of utter horror
manifested itself on JB's face.
The new jukebox took the hit, and was splattered all over the wall by the restrooms.
The WR guys had all dropped and rolled under the table, so they did not get too badly
splattered by the debris. However, as JB ran over, he noticed it had one good side effect.
There was a hole in the wall into the Ladies' restroom. JB bent down, and was peeking in
as RW looked in his backpack again.
DFA and Sling were the only people to notice the good looking young woman come out of
the Ladies room, and whack JB over the head with a beer bottle, "MASHER!"
"AH HA!" RW cried with some excitement in his voice.
JB got up off the floor, rubbing his head, where the young woman had whacked him with
the beer bottle. He didn't notice the light hanging by just one cable, and whacked himself
on the light, right on the spot where the woman had hit him. "OUCH!"
DFA laughed, and Death Hand looked at him with an unspoken question on his face. DFA
answered it before he asked, "Just watch."
Lt. Sling said "Well gents, it's been real, and it's been fun, but the real fun is
about to begin." TP and Syves laughed, and all three moved to another table.
Astro-Boy sat at his table watching everything with a look of total incomprehension on
RW then pulled a strange looking launcher of some type from his backpack (big backpack,
heh?). He set the launcher on the tabletop, and looked in his backpack again. He reached
in, seemingly below the top of the table, and pulled out a FULL CASE of LITTLE DEBBIE
snack cakes, with the thick, white, creamy filling.
"OH SHIT! Not the LITTLE DEBBIE's!" cried JB. He became extremely agitated
and was looking around the bar as if he needed somewhere to hide.
RW took all of the LITTLE DEBBIE's out of the case, and loaded them into the launcher.
"ASTRO-BOY! Get your carcass out here!" RW called out.
Astro-Boy stood up, and stepped in front of his table. His hand hovered over his
S&W 22mm PPC sidearm, like an old-time "gunslinger."
RW aimed the LITTLE DEBBIE launcher in the general direction of Astro-boy, and said,
"Go for your gun, sonny."
Underneath the table, Magnus aimed at Astro-Boy, pulled the trigger, and blew a hole
right through JB's velvet Elvis Presley picture, hanging above the bar.
"My god, what have you done," cried JB in obivious anguish as he rushed over
to put out the flames.
Magnus looked at the S&W 25mm PPC and shook it while he tried to hear a rattle.
Astro-Boy looked annoyed, and suddenly, make a grab for his sidearm. Before his hand
had firmly grasped his sidearm, the roar of the launcher was heard.
Astro-Boy was knocked over the table, and into the wall by the impact. 144 LITTLE
DEBBIE's had hit him directly in the chest. The thick, white, creamy filling completely
covered him (and most of the surrounding area). He collapsed, falling face forward, onto
the table, which collapsed under him.
Magnus looked down the barrel of the S&S squinting to see better. Trying to work
the slider, he accidently pulls the trigger.
RW brushed his hands off, and Magnum, and the rest laughed at Astro-Boy's fate.
The PPC round for the sidearm Magnus was holding, singes his eyebrows, and blows a hole
in the tabletop, next to Roosters COORS ULTRA-MECH beer.
JB stood at the bar, munching on a LITTLE DEBBIE as RW walked over.
"Another fine mess you've gotten me into, RW," JB said.
"Yep. All that thick, creamy, white filling. Hmmmmm, that reminds me of a girl I
used to date........." RW said.
A look of total horror settled on JB's face. He spit out the LITTLE DEBBIE he was
munching on, and ran for the men's restroom, making gagging noises.
Rooster grabs the S&W from Magnus, and whacks him over the head with it.
Magnum, Syves and DFA were laughing at JB's plight, while the others decided to raid
"FREE BEER! JB's BUYING" announced Death Hand, as he, Rooster, Jackal,
DarkWizard and the others crowded around. Magnus rolls out from under the table, and
holding his head, races to the bar, and dives over the crowd to get a beer.
RW and Magnum looked at each other, and laugh. DFA walks up and offers a mug of
MECHWELL HOUSE coffee to each of them.
Magnum takes the offered mug, and raises it in toast, "To RW, Khan of
Total silence descended as the door to the bar was kicked wide open, crashing into the
frame on each side.
"Who runs this hole?" demanded Nova Captain Tamer of the Pendragon Clan.
"I am here to clean up the riffraff in this dump!" she announced. The she
noticed her Khan standing next to Magnum.
"Oh, hi Rogue.........you devil" she said in a pixie-ish voice.
"Oh hell," mutters Magnus, as he dives back under a table.
RW and Magnum looked at each other, and said "UH OH........" in harmony